Thinking outrageous thoughts

In a very profound meditation CD, Sri Siva challenges your mind to defy logic and think outrageous thoughts. That phrase has stuck with me. It is a very freeing idea, to challenge your whole self to think beyond your usual patterns. It seems to be the theme lately. “You cannot solve problems with the same thoughts that created them.” I think this is an Einstein quote, or maybe someone else who is wise.

There is a general relaxation that occurs in the mind when we get a brilliant new idea. It is a paradox that we have to stop thinking for a while, or relax our brains somehow, to allow a new thought to get its shoe in. Just ponder that, thoughts wearing shoes.

How many times do I say “not sure what to do here, I think I’ll go for a walk/sleep/play”, only to get the idea handed to me in a moment of relaxation. Many. Too many. I’m considering permanently turning my logical mind off, just so I can receive more lateral thoughts.

All those slideskipjump thoughts that are revolutionary. The thoughts that change the world, change a life. Those are thoughts that enter on cat feet and pounce on your still mind. The thoughts that revolutionize and mystify, they require a willing partner on their wild romp through mystic portals.



In Buddhism there is a mindfulness exercise where you contemplate a flower. I examining the parts of the flower you hold in your mind the essence of what makes up the flower. It is sort of a “the whole is more than the sum of its parts” kind of meditation. This is a beautifully simple meditation, but I have often wondered… What does the flower think when it is looking at you?

The consciousness present in the flower must be regarding you in some capacity. What wisdom would there be?

Peaceful planting

Spending time pressing new roots into old pots. Carving a nourishing bed for tender shoots. Fragrance of green and earth and soft sun blankets my skin. Working hands and arms, sowing. I pressed my fingers against the warm earth, pulse. Perennial wisdom welcomes my mind to follow her pace, stillness.

Showing up

Just Show Up. Many disciplines chant this phrase. I have heard it in yoga, meditation, writing, art, even in marathon training. Persistence, it seems, is the magic ingredient in transformation. Whether the work is transforming your body, your mind, your soul, or your work, the advice is often the same.

Showing up is powerful. There is humility in showing up. Showing up tames the wildness of the ego that says to stay in bed, forget, wimp out. The part that is afraid to change wants us to stay hidden, small. Ultimately, the challenge pulls us out of our hiding spaces. We show up because we crave transformation.

A Buddhist concept that has helped me is “make one decision”. Rather than making a decision everyday whether to write or run or create or sit, make one decision. Make the decision once and move forward. Then it is never a question if you will, the answer is always yes, you already chose, you can skip straight to the activity. This “one decision” process is further reinforced by asking the question “Do you want to achieve your goal?”. If yes, then you show up. If no, then you let your self off the hook, don’t look back, and find a new hobby/work. No need to punish, just make a new choice and be happy.

Showing up takes the pressure off. You don’t have to be brilliant, you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be there. I often set myself up to win. I make the showing up easy. I define showing up as doing the activity for 5 minutes. Five minutes is short enough that it seems doable, easy, not a huge investment. Five minutes is long enough that it breaks through the resistance and inertia. After 5 minutes if I really don’t want to be there, then I go on to something else with a feeling of satisfaction that I kept my promise to myself and a knowing that I will return the next day. Most of the time, 5 minutes quickly turns into 50 minutes, or sometimes 5 hours. The flexibility, that after my 5 minutes I can do something else, quiets my rebellious nature and allows my life and reactive work to flow organically through me.

Just show up.

First Workshop!!!


Today I got the posters out for my first workshop I will be teaching in the area of mind-body connection. So terribly exciting I went home early with a giant migraine. All too funny.

First the workshop, then the migraine.

My workshop is called “Connecting the Dots on Your Health Journey”. It is an evening workshop being held on May 2, 2012 in Calgary at Self Connection Books in Montgomery (NW) at 6:30-9:30 pm. I will be helping people discover the wisdom to be found within their health history, particularly to understand how the emotional events of their lives affect their physical health. I will be teaching how to begin to tell an empowering story about past hurts to transform and heal. There will also be meditations, affirmations and a mini-Reiki treatment. An action packed evening! Sign up at

Now to tell the migraine story. 😀 I woke up this morning with no trace of a headache, but with a pounding, driving pressure to “get it all done”. Knowing I had to get my son to his dayhome, poster’s picked up across town, drop my husband off, get back across town all before noon, talk to a few local businesses about putting up said posters, and get home in time to put in a few hours of work at my day job. I was very quickly thinking of how I wanted it all to be done simultaneously. I felt nervous about distributing my poster, a first for me, and feeling exposed, but at the same time I felt scared that I would not connect with the person distributing my posters and miss a week or two of advertising for my exciting new venture. One foot on the gas, one foot on the brake.

Throw into the mix my blog post from yesterday about my lingering pattern of trying to be perfect for everyone else, and kablamo! A migraine!

It actually illustrates my point I will cover in my workshop so nicely, you would think it was planned. It was not, I assure you.

A migraine happens when blood vessels in the head contract painfully, squeezing suddenly on blood which has nowhere else to go. The feeling I get is one of intense pressure that gradually ramps up to a stabbing sensation either in my temple or behind one of my eyes. I often feel nauseous and sometimes vomit from the pain. Over the counter medication generally doesn’t do much for me so I tend to not bother. Usually I just wait it out, resting in a dark, quiet room with my hand over my eye, breathing, meditating and sending Reiki energy to my head until it passes, usually after 3-4 hours.

Emotionally the triggers for a migraine mirrors the physical process so well it is stunning. A sudden, intense pressure, squeezing thoughts of perfectionism that are impossible to achieve bear down on you. There is usually no relief with any activity, since the task is impossible in the first place (getting it all done NOW). There is often the feeling of having nowhere to go to get relief, being stuck with no or few options. Trying to be all things to all people, but resisting the pushing and rushing.

The emotional antidote is the same as what physically relieves the migraine too. Stopping. Being still. Slowing the thoughts down and letting yourself off the hook. Finding a creative solution to the problem helps, as does finding options where only ONE way had appeared before. Going with the flow, instead of pushing against the stream. But mostly, just stopping all thought is required, which is likely why masturbation is said to help. But also meditation which is of an unfocused, expansive nature is immensely helpful. Breathing. Slowly. Helps. So does sleep.

So how do you slow the freight train of thoughts once it has started, and possibly avoid a migraine? Well, it is tough, especially when you are in the middle of it. I find what helps me most is to not get on the train in the first place. I have gotten better, with much practice, at seeing the start of restrictive, pressurized thinking and deliberately turning my mind to the task of finding as many different options and outcomes as possible. This time the excitement of the day swept me away and unfortunately I had trouble finding emotional or physical relief until I just rested my mind after I eventually got the important things done and let myself off the hook for the rest of it.

My migraine is gone now and I can clearly see how silly I was to stress so much over something so trivial and easily managed (I really had no trouble at all, even traffic was good). But knowing how migraines go, I will take it easy on myself and let myself off the ‘perfect’ hook. Laughing about it, blogging about it, hoping that I can help one other person who knows the painful pressure cooker that is migraine; That is the best I can do. Tomorrow and tonight, I just go with the flow and I will be just fine. And so with the rest if the course, just go with the flow, be honest, be humble, show up and be helpful, that is it.

Gotta love how this stuff works! 🙂

Meditation – Joyful Body

Meditation InteriorI have been writing and creating meditations on a bunch of topics on my iPad. This one is perfect for weight loss, increasing physical performance and just generally having a nice relationship with your body. It is a guided meditation, so it is pretty easy for first time meditators. Using headphones is good for focusing and reducing external distractions. My recordings are far from studio quality, but hey, they are completely free. 🙂

The meditation is called Joyful Body and is free, but please keep my name attached to it if you choose to share it, as I keep the copyrights.

This link will take you to my website where you can download or listen to the meditation. Please let me know what your experience is. 😀

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