Being good

I’ve been dancing with my inner critic lately. I’ve recognized a pattern of needing approval from others. It is nothing new. Maybe it springs from my helping nature, I want to help people transform, to become their full selves. It is always so easy for me to see how amazing and lovable others are; I just want them to see it too.

But, of course, you can’t make anyone do anything, and that is definitely NOT what I am about. What I am weeding out is my tendency to be all things to all people. As a natural pleaser, I thrive on helping others and want positive feedback. But I often focus strongly on anything less than praise. My inner critic goes wild with trying to figure out how I could be better, trying to win over every single person on the planet. I absolutely am aware of how futile this inclination is, but there it is… A flaw.

I am not perfect. I cannot please everyone. But that is not the same as not pleasing anyone. I have many fantastic traits. Being myself is the most important one. Getting rid of the last traces of approval seeking is the task at hand, my self development Everest.

And yet I cannot deny how for I have come, sharing my creative and spiritual work in a public forum, writing daily, meditating, creating course material. These are all things my shy 20 year old self would never have dreamed I would voluntarily do. Progress made, progress still to be had.

I was told once that you know you are in the right place if you feel stretched out, uncomfortable, nervous. I must be in the right place! 🙂

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