Free your spirit

Lotus

Image by petrichor via Flickr

Unforgiveness is the sticky bond that ties us to painful memories. Energetically, whatever we focus on, good or bad, gets a dose of our energy. The more hate and anger we harbour puts more fuel into the energy ties that keep the person in our experience. Forgiveness is the ultimate act of freedom for your soul.

We often confuse forgiveness with saying “It’s Okay”; somehow excusing the person or letting them off the hook. This is a mistake. When we  are harmed by another, intentional or not, it does not serve us or them by just forgetting the incident happened. What do we learn from the experience if we just cover it up? But equally, we cannot make the other person ‘pay’ for their transgression if we hold hatred and anger in our hearts. It only poisons us.

If you acknowledge forgiveness as a feeling of freedom and releasement, then you can easily experience the power of forgiveness to transform your life. Try these steps to find your freedom:

  1. Write a list of people you need to forgive. Make sure to include yourself on the list.
  2. Pick one person on the list to forgive. Since forgiveness is an internal shift in your feelings, you do not need the other person to participate in the process. In fact I would advise against it in most cases, because ultimately it does not matter what they say or do, it only matters how you feel.
  3. Repeat the affirmation “I am willing to forgive _____” several times. Notice how you feel. Pay attention to any tightness or clenching in your body. Tightness in your muscles indicates resistance.
  4. If you feel anger and contraction, or any sense of resistance at this point, you can back up a step and say the affirmation “I am willing to think about forgiving ______”.
  5. If you still feel contracted or angry then visualize yelling at the person. Tell them exactly how you feel; do not go into repeating the events, stay focused on the feeling. Let it all out. The time for holding it all in is over. Do this for 10 minutes.
  6. Go back to the affirmation “I am willing to think about forgiving ______”. Stay at this step until the sentence feels too long and bulky. Test out dropping the words ‘think about’. Notice what happens to your body. Use the feelings of relaxation as your guide to the next step.
  7. Move on the affirmation “I am willing to forgive _____”. Again, pay attention to your muscle tension. Where are your shoulders? Are you clenching your hands? Is your jaw relaxed. Stay here for as long as you need to. Experiment with dropping the words “willing to”.
  8. The last affirmation is “I forgive ______”. At this point the feelings of release and freedom will flow naturally.
  9. Repeat. Go through everyone on your list and forgive them in the same way. Be sure to forgive yourself as well. Naturally, there will be some people who keep winding up on the list over and over, particularly if they are still in your life. That is perfectly ok. It is ok to be angry. It just doesn’t do us much good to hang on to it. The process gets easier and easier the more you practice it.

Test it out in your life. Observe your relationships shift on their own accord without any effort on your part. What else might shift in your life, now that you are free?

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